How hard is [THIS], really?

Every year the Cubs marketing team comes up with a pithy new slogan for the season, and every year they fail miserably.

How hard can it be? They haven't had a good one since 2012 when the slogan was, "Terrible on purpose for once." A couple of years ago they managed to come up with a terrible slogan that game with a problematic hash tag.

Do you remember last year's? Of course not. Because it blew. It was "Be Here For It," I guess.

This season apparently they just gave up completely. I can honestly respect their lack of hustle.

They just said, "Fuck it. How about just, THIS?"

However, unlike the bad hashtag two years ago, I really do think [THIS] will have some legs.

Maybe just not in the way they want it to.

It's so versatile. For example:

Or, this:

Or, this:

Could it also be used for non-Ian Happ mockery? You know, I hadn't considered that.

Well, I mean, let's say Porter Hodge has a 6.27 ERA again this year.

You know, I take it back. This might be their best one yet!

Yesterday was Tom Ricketts annual speech to the team. It's the 16th time he's given this ponderous address. He said it doesn't really change from year to year. Why would it? The key talking points never change.

• The towels need to stay in the clubhouse. If you take them home you'll be charged their retail price of $1.97 plus a $40 service charge for each towel.
• Don't forget to sign up for your shift mowing the fields. The sign up sheet is taped to the Pepsi machine. If you don't know how to operate a zero turn mower you can sign up for the class that Dan Kiermaier teaches at Mesa Community College. In honor of the tenth anniversary of the 2016 World Series champions, you'll get 10% off your tuition for Dan's class. It's limited to the first player who claims it, though.
• Speaking of the Pepsi Machine due to the penny shortage, the machine will no longer make change. We're out of pennies now, could be quarters tomorrow, we're taking no chances.
• Every Wednesday is Todd Ricketts Appreciation Day. Anyone who forgets to sign the card in the lobby will be traded to the White Sox.
• Every player is expected to sell at least a dozen full season Marquee Sports Network subscriptions. There are no exceptions. Except for Ian Happ. He has to just keep producing all of that high quality podcast content for us. Love you, Ian.
• The MRI machine no longer takes tokens, we've just linked your Apple Pay to it. You're welcome.
• Try not to laugh at Alex Cohen so much this year. I really can't handle the crying.
• Good luck this season. Stay healthy, because we haven't decided if we're paying your health care premiums.
• Beat the Brewers because it's embarrassing to lose to them every year. And if you do? Well, I'm not going to do anything about it. But I'll be very disappointed, and that's on you.
• Have a great year! And we'll see you back here for spring training 2028. Next year? It's not happening.

In his media session after the big speech Tom was asked about going over the luxury tax. He said it's not something they worry about. (Sure.) He also said it doesn't dictate their payroll, their revenue does. Which is just such bullshit. If their payroll was really based on revenue and they were honest about revenue they'd have a $400 million payroll.

He was also asked about how the demise of RSNs are impacting teams around the league. He said starting Marquee was "a great home run" whatever that is. Meghan Montemurro asked him about why the great home run fired a bunch of people last year and he shrugged it off and bragged about all the Emmys they win. Local Emmys are just as prestigious and meaningful as Ian Happ's left field Gold Gloves.

And then Tom said this about Marquee.

"Really happy with the product. Everybody is."

Apparently one of the perks of ownership is never having to watch your own TV network.

He also gave quite the revisionist look at the 2021 sell off. He said that they never want to rebuild but it was a special circumstance because they couldn't trade those guys during Covid, but the trades Jed made the next year have set them up with a great team now.

OK, let's see. They got Petecrow in the Javy trade. They got Daniel Palencia for Andrew Chafin. They got Cade Horton with the seventh pick in the next draft because they were bad, which they were careening towards whether they sold off or not. And...nope, that's it. Stop pretending the sell off did much of anything other than saved you some money.

And, he said they didn't change their minds on deferring money when they signed Alex Bregman.

Nope. You know how we know you changed your mind? Because you did it, finally.

Always great to hear from Tommy. Especially when he does the entire thing with his crisis PR toadie Dennis Culloton looming over his shoulder the whole time. Seems fine.