You have to CIt

What was worse, the Cubs kinky hashtag fail or Tom Ricketts’ press conference?

You have to CIt

Get more from Andy Dolan in the Substack appAvailable for iOS and AndroidGet the app

On a day in which Cubs co-owner Tom Ricketts showed up to spring training and said things that should infuriate every Cubs fan, the Cubs’ social media team tried valiantly to conduct a preemptive strike.

They unveiled their new ad campaign, “You have to ‘C’ it” with a perky video that’s back to their old bag of tricks where they’re selling the ballpark instead of the team because of the two, at least the ballpark doesn’t suck.

Hey guys, uh, you wanna take a closer look at your hashtag?

I don’t know if it says more about the Cubs social media team. Either they are subversively funny or, more likely, they are just a bunch of incels. I guess maybe we can give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe they never typed Clt out and didn’t realize that on some—most, actually—fonts it would look more like it said CLT instead of cit.

But clearly somebody figured it out because not long after it went up, it was changed to #YouHaveToSeeIt, which frankly, doesn’t really work.

But, on the Internet, things last forever, so we’ll always have our screenshots of the original.

Won’t we, Praz?

While our good friend Jon Greenberg seemed to be the first to notice the unfortunate hashtag, we here at Pointless Exercise also had a scoop. We were privy to an earlier, edgier version of the ad campaign.

I really don’t know why they didn’t go with it.

Amazing. I gave it an 11 out of 10 in our focus group. Nothing would get you riled up for a Cubs game like Sam Neill screaming at you while holding his own eyeballs after he has dug them out of their sockets, as Laurence Fishburne blows the Event Horizon in half.

You don’t think that wouldn’t get you riled up for a Cubs-Pirates game some Tuesday in May?

DO YOU C?

Anyway, the Cubs got that embarrassment mostly cleaned up by lunch, but then Ricketts wandered into camp and sidled up to a gaggle of reporters and things got really dumb, and really off putting really fast.

Tom stood in front of a wall and refused the blindfold and cigarette offered to him only to be the one who did the shooting right into his own foot and dick.