Cubs multi-media frenzy
Chip Caray, Ben Zobrist, Mark Grace, drone videos, a walking boot, a guy outwitted by a Fathead and more

Let’s take a tour of social media and see what fun stuff the Cubs have been up to lately.
Marquee Sports Network apparently couldn’t score an interview with Dansby Swanson’s dad after the new shortstop signed his seven year, $177 million deal with the team, so they did the next best thing. They asked Chip Caray to Skype in from his garage with a huge diaper hanging in the background to tell Cubs fans all about their new “star.”
The interview is quintessential Chip. Chip says that Dansby’s a “winner.” After all, Dansby played at Vanderbilt and for the Barves and he won at both places. So, that makes him a winner. That’s how that works. You know who else was a “winner?” Former Cub Jason Marquis, who played on playoff teams the first nine seasons of his career with the Barves (2000-2003), the Cardinals (2004-2006), the Cubs (2007 and 2008) and the Rockies (2009). He was such a winner that in 2006 he played on the alleged World Series Champion Cardinals and led the National League in losses with 16. In those nine seasons he posted winning records in four of them, including 2000 when he was 1-0 with a 5.01 ERA. Playing on a winning team undisputedly makes you a winner.
Chip compared Dansby to Nick Markakis. It’s a great comparison, considering Dansby’s a free swinging hitter with a low on base average and above average power for his position, and Markakis was a singles hitter who rarely struck out and averaged a whopping eight homers per season in his six years in Atlanta.
Chip said, “the kids on our team gave Dansby the nickname the sheriff.”
But that’s only because of Dansby’s fondness for Diablo sandwiches and Dr. Pepper.
Chip pointed out that Dansby’s contract is the biggest one the Cubs have given out since former Barve Jason Heyward. Yes, Chip. We remember. It’s the worst free agent contract in team history. Thanks.
Chip says the “thick grass at Wrigley will really help Dansby.” Chip, Ron Cey and Larry Bowa aren’t the left side of the infield any more. They mow the grass now, buddy. And check out Harry Christopher Carabina the third’s meteorology chops. “The wind blows in or across more than out at Wrigley.”
You mean it blows in three directions more often than one? Big, if true.
When Elise asked Chip about Dansby’s recent marriage to Mallory Pugh, I expected this answer from him.
Chip also lamented that “the market” priced Dansby out of Atlanta. Yeah, sure. The Barves do such a bad job of working out extensions with the players they really want to keep.
The Braves’ club control after today’s six-year Sean Murphy extension:
— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) 3:46 AM ∙ Dec 28, 2022
Austin Riley, through 2033
Michael Harris II, 2032
Matt Olson, 2030
Sean Murphy, 2029
Spencer Strider, 2029
Ronald Acuña Jr., 2028
Vaughn Grissom, 2028
Ozzie Albies, 2027
Kyle Wright, 2026
Max Fried, 2024
The truth is they picked Vaughn Grissom over Dansby and the savings allowed them to have the money on hand to make their trade for Sean Murphy worth giving up the prospects it took to get him because they could extend him. Which they did yesterday.
I really wanted Elise to ask Chip why he was in the garage. I was hoping his answer would be that his imaginary family kicked him out for farting too much. Now, we’ll never know.

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Unlike Marquee, the Cubs in-house video team (they are completely different) does great work, and this Breakdown of Ben Zobrist’s one career strikeout as a pitcher is really good.
This comes just a few weeks after they did one on David Ross’ first career home run. He was a Dodgers rookie and hit it in Arizona off a Diamondbacks lefty reliever. So who cares?
Well, the lefty reliever was Mark Grace.
If we’re going to spelunk the Cubs YouTube channel (they have 212,000 subscribers compared to Marquee’s 2,200), why not take one more look at the incredible drone video that Sky Candy Studios did for them a couple of months ago?

With all of the hubbub around Christmas and Hanukkah, you may have missed news of a true holiday miracle.
Cubs prospect Alexander Canario suffered a gruesome leg and shoulder injury when he Ricky Gutierrrezed himself trying to beat out a grounder in October in the Dominican Winter League.
Canario broke his left ankle and the wipeout took out his left shoulder, too. These are similar to the hilarious injuries former Cubs shortstop Ricky Gutierrez suffered when he pulled his hamstring in a game in Denver against the Rockies, May 24, 2000. He fell to the ground and hit the ground so hard he dislocated his shoulder.
“Hilarious?” Well, if you agree with the Mel Brooks definition of humor, which is that when you fall into an open sewer and die it’s comedy, but if I get a paper cut it’s a tragedy.
American Masters, Mel Brooks: The Difference Between Comedy & Tragedy Is...
— Desipio.com (@_desipio) 2:48 AM ∙ Dec 28, 2022
Anyway, back to Alexander Canario. Cubs prospect Twitter got all excited when they saw this picture of him before Christmas.
Canario is now in a boot only.
— Todd ⚾️🐻🦌 (@CubsCentral08) 12:07 AM ∙ Dec 26, 2022
That’s him on the right.
I kid, I kid. The good news is that he’s in a walking boot which would disqualify him from the wheelchair races at this year’s Cubs Convention where Ed Howard and Brennen Davis are the prohibitive favorites.
They are also encouraged that his shoulder isn’t in a harness or sling.
Very promising. After all, that’s the new tiebreaker next year. Extra inning games will still have the Manfred Man(n) placed on second base to start every half inning, but if you get to the 14th and the game is still tired, whoever can stand straightest in front of a decorated tree wins!

By now you’ve seen the video of a Barves superfan manbaby trying and failing to rip a Dansby Swanson Fathead off of a wall in his home.
@tadavis1990#CapCut #atlantabraves #bravesbaseball #mlb #baseball
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He was so butt hurt by people making fun of him and mocking that a supposedly grown man not only had a Dansby Fathead, but also a cartoon bedspread that he had to post another video. This one confirms that it is his bedroom, and that he doesn’t even have his own room, he has to share it with a tiny roommate.
@tadavis1990#mlb #braves #atlantabraves #baseball
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That’s quite the flex there, Tad. But people weren’t just making fun of your room, they were mostly making fun of the fact that you couldn’t tear something off of a wall that is literally designed to be easily removed from a wall.
But don’t worry about him. He took the tiny roommate to a park so he could dunk on a five foot rim.
@tadavis1990#HowIBathAndBodyWorks #ChimeHasYourBack #fyp #fypシ
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I apologize for making fun of him, now. I had no idea he was that awesome.