Cubs are gonna get so rich off this All-Star Game
And, Tom Loxas joins the Pod to gush over the Cubs rookies
When Bruce Levine woke up on the couch on the Marquee set yesterday morning, it was just like every other day. Until he got the big scoop that after a long wait, the Garbage Family That Owns The Cubs™ finally found out they are going to get to host an All-Star game at Wrigley Field.
Finally, those plucky trust fund kids from America's manure spreading capital catch a break.
Sure, the playoffs are cool and all, but the All-Star Game? Shit, your team doesn't even have to be good to host one of those. And think of all the money. Why, that game is such a cash cow, it would practically pay for Kyle Tucker all by itself.
Right, Bruce?
Why, 300 bucks? American? Whoo! Tommy's gonna be wearing diamond shoes to the game!
The funny thing of course (other than Bruce's shit spacing and punctuation always making a fake URL somewhere in every Tweet) is that he meant the game will be worth $250 million to $300 million to the city, but he accidentally thumbed out $250 to $300. But honestly, his typo is far closer to reality than the puffed up number MLB always touts.
Yes, it will bring people to Chicago. In July. Because without an exhibition baseball game nobody would dare travel on their own to the single nicest city in the country during the summer.
The Cubs have been trying to get an All-Star Game ever since they finished the renovations on Wrigley, and MLB has always stiff armed them. They got pushed back on the list when Covid cancelled the game in 2020 that was supposed to be at Dodger Stadium because MLB gave the game to the Dodgers in in 2022. They even got screwed when MLB pulled the game from Atlanta in 2021 because of Georgia's racist voting law. The game was instead played at Coors Field, and MLB let Atlanta back into the rotation this year, which had previously seemed to be reserved for the Cubs.
The latest delay had to do with MLB insisting that the Cubs needed to make some "security improvements" around the ballpark. Yeah, you wouldn't want somebody to be able to get too close to Ezekiel Tovar.
The reality is that MLB was trying to do the Ricketts a favor, there. The Omaha Hillbillies have been trying to get the city to let them close Clark and Addison before during and after games for "security." Sure, that's what it is. They want them to close them so they can turn it into a walking beer garden like the Red Sox get to do with Landsdowne Street on game days. The idea that they need to bilk $30 million out of the city and state to buy some security bollards is pretty rich, even for the Cubs. But apparently, it worked.
It's been a long time since the Cubs last hosted the game, as this hieroglyphic Tweet from Bruce apparently explains:
1990 was the last time the game was played there. It was a bit of shit show. Home Run Derby was a fairly recent addition to the All-Star festivities. The first was in 1985 at the Metrodome in Minneapolis and was won by then Reds' slugger Dave Parker. Andre Dawson won the 1987 derby for the Cubs in Oakland in 1987. The 1990 derby had a great lineup of sluggers. The AL had Mark McGwire, Ken Griffey Jr., Jose Canseco and Cecil Fielder. The NL had Ryne Sandberg, Matt Williams, Bobby Bonilla and Darryl Strawberry. Man, they were going to be smoking balls out of Wrigley! Right!
Right?
There were five.
Five homers.
Five homers from those eight players combined!
The American League guys hit one! Just McGwire. (He probably started doing steroids immediately after the event.)
Matt Williams also hit one for the NL.
But the big winner was Sandberg who hit three and won it all.
Yikes. The wind was blowing in, but still.
The game itself was a dud. The AL won 2-0 and there was a nearly 70 minute rain delay during the seventh. CBS was broadcasting and cut to an episode of Rescue 911 to kill the time.
The lasting legacy was probably the workout before the derby where fans got to see the players fucking around on the field, and were given neon colored hats to wear in the stands. It was 1990, things that looked like they might glow in the dark were cool. Whatever. It was a different time.
One of the hat colors was pink, and it was the first pink hat that Jim Anixter, aka, The Pink Hat guy wore behind home plate. So I guess that's something.
It's hard to get too excited about this All-Star Game considering it's in 2027 and the current collective bargaining agreement expires after next season. There are a bunch of owners, including the Garbage Family, who really want a salary cap and are willing to torch the entire season to get it.
How perfect would it be if the Ricketts wipe out their own All-Star Game?
Podcast: The Cubs kids aren't too bad - Pointless Exercise Podcast
Matt Shaw is back and playing well, Cade Horton is looking good, Petecrow’s on an MVP pace, Kyle Tucker is even better than we thought and Tom Loxas is here to talk about all of it. What could go wrong? Plus more announcer talk (groan, I know), what’s up with the Bears these days and so much more.
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In 2003, a broadcast of all three movies in the original Star Wars trilogy featured ads for Cristal Beer, but they didn't want to have regular commercial breaks, so the ads were incorporated directly into the films, and it was pure art.
They are all great, but the best one is when Han has to use Luke's lightsaber to cut open the tauntaun on Hoth.
