The little stuff that gets you beat

The Cubs came five outs away from a sweep in Baltimore yesterday, and then Turd Ferguson decided to settle some old scores. What selfish move by the old Turdster.

With the Cubs up 2-1 and one out in the bottom of the eighth, Turd hit Gunnar Henderson on the back foot (that'll show him) and then barely nicked Pete Alonso's jersey with a pitch (take that, Polar Bear!)

That led to Ryan Rolison having to come in to save the day and he nearly did it.

Well, no. The first batter he faced was Jeremiah Jackson who doubled driving in both Henderson and somehow, the lumbering Alonso.

Actually, the somehow was Nico Hoerner's 14 hop relay throw.

MLB Film Room - Pete Alonso safe after review

That's OK. Nico made up for it in the ninth. He led off the inning with a single and then stole second to get the tying run into scoring position with nobody out.

Oops.

MLB Film Room - Nico Hoerner caught stealing after review

Nico said that Gunnar pushed him off the base, which, yeah, maybe he did. Go put your sorries in a sock, Nicholas.

But a weak throw and an overly strong slide aren't the reason for this post. Because something even dumber cost the Cubs a run earlier in the game. Nico's mistakes were not from a lack of effort. They never are. Most of these Cubs bust their asses all the time.

Most of them.

After the game, intrepid reader Mark G. emailed me saying that he hadn't seen the game, but he heard that Michael Busch got thrown out trying to score from first on Nico's double in the fourth inning, he suspected that given who was on deck that something crucial didn't happen.

Let's watch.

MLB Film Room - Ward, Henderson combine to get the out at home

Yes, it was a combination of a slow runner (Busch), a nice throw to the cutoff man (Taylor Ward) and a really nice relay throw (Henderson). And Busch slid straight into the plate and man mountain Sammy Basallo tagged him out.

Feet first slide, heading for the front of the plate. Catcher camped out in front of the plate to avoid being called for blocking it.

Easy call for the umpire.

It's just too bad that Busch didn't pick up the on deck hitter who had plenty of time to run to the first base side behind the plate to tell him to slide to the back of the plate to avoid the tag.

Why didn't Busch do that?

Well, here's why.

For fuck's sake.

And yes, what Mark G. had predicted without even seeing the play was that because Ian Happ was the on deck hitter that he probably didn't bother to move his stupid ass where he could help his teammate score the tying run.

The effort plays in the game are hard enough, buddy. The literal least you could do would be to do the unselfish, easy ones.

Earlier this year, Petecrow aired out Matt Shaw for not being obvious enough that a throw to the plate was coming. Pete scored standing up, and Shaw kind of meekly pointed for Pete to go his right (of course that's the only way Matt would point), but it seemed like more of a subtle suggestion. Petecrow demanded demonstrativeness. He was right. But Shaw was in the right position because he's only a selfish prick when it comes to taking a personal day to go to a hate rally, not when it comes to little things in the game like plays at the plate.

What is Happ's excuse?

Was he too busy looking at his magic helmet dots in his helmet to do the only job he actually has when he's on deck?

The Cubs are 15-6 over their last 21 games. They're doing it with smoke and mirrors, with Craig Counsell having to hold his nose and go to guys in the bullpen (Turd) who he can't (Double Down Trent Thornton) have any actual (Caleb Thielbar) confidence in. But they're somehow winning with an offense being carried by Petecrow (makes sense), Seiya (naturally), and...Dansby? Their primary closer, Daniel Palencia has one more save this year than Jordan Fucking Wicks!

They're winning because everybody's doing whatever it takes, every day, to overcome the ludicrous amount of injuries to their pitching staff.

Well, everybody but Ian Happ. Why wasn't Busch screaming at his selfish ass for leaving to him die at the plate?

During this 21 game stretch where the Cubs got their season back on track Happ's hitting .192/.272/.274 with a homer, four RBI, six walks and 24 strikeouts in 73 at bats. Is a .274 slug bad?

Happ's on pace to strike out 221 times this season.

Let me restate that. He's on pace to strike out TWO HUNDRED TWENTY ONE times.

The record is 223 by Shane Reynolds in 2009. I believe in Happ. I think he can do it!

No Cub has ever struck out 200 times in a season. No, not even Sammy Sosa led the NL in strikeouts three straight seasons. The most he ever struck out was 174 times. Sammy's fourth all-time with 2306 strikeouts. Javy Baez has never done it.

But Happ's a cinch to do it. The Cubs' record is 199 by Kris Bryant in 2015. Hah hah. What a loser. What else did Kris Bryant do that year? He hit 26 homers, 31 doubles, drove in 99 runs, stole 13 bases, put up 5.4 WAR and won Rookie of the Year and finished 11th in MVP voting.

Oh.

Happ's not helping at the plate. He's immobile on the bases and in left.

The least he could do would be to not fuck over his own teammate because he's too lazy to jog his fat ass 30 feet to get in his line of sight to help tell him which way to slide.

But hey, it's not like he had that much time. It only took Busch EIGHT seconds to go from first to third. How's Happ supposed to move ten yards in eight seconds?

Maybe Happ's just too focused on shattering the strikeout record to be expected to think about anything else?