The Cubs think they're good enough again

The Cubs think they're good enough again
Looks like Jed finally needs to stop buying pants in the boys department.

While the opening night of Cubs Convention has all of the flash and sizzle--like Tom Ricketts' always exciting opening remarks--the real news comes out of Saturday, and this year was no different. In separate sessions, President of Doing Whatever It Takes To Win 83 Games Jed Hoyer and his toadie Carter, and manager Craig Counsell laid out their vision and ambitions for the 2025 team. You'll be stunned to know they don't match.

Jed and Carter kicked things off on Saturday in a session moderated by Boog Sciambi. At one point during the session Boog decided to get up out of his chair to stand in front of the video screen and the groan he let out as he tried to stand up must have raised the deductible on his health insurance by 400%.

When Theo Epstein had Jed's job and they did sessions like this, Theo rarely bothered to let Jed speak, and I always got the impression that Theo had Jed sitting there as a favor to Jed, a way to remind fans that the team actually had a general manager and that some day Jed would be tasked to carry on in Theo's wake.

Jed has Carter there for a vastly different reason. He lets Carter talk, which is always to Jed's advantage because it's very clear that Carter is a grade-A moron, who just spouts trite leadership and business cliches. Every time Carter babbles, Jed seems more competent by comparison. Carter's new pet phrase is "solving for" and he must have used it 400 times in the hour session. Carter acts like because he went to Vanderbilt it means he was smart, which is bullshit. Just like how people who went to Cornell want us to act like they went to a "real" Ivy League school. The only difference between Ithaca College and Cornell is about a mile and a half.

"I ask Jed all the time, 'What are we solving for?'"

I think we know.

The only revealing part of the chummy chat was Jed's pants, which were a good three inches too short.