The Cubs' good players are almost back. Maybe.

When has the Cubs medical staff ever led us astray?

The Cubs' good players are almost back. Maybe.

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The Cubs were full of injury updates over the weekend, and if you can ever believe anything they tell you, it was all good. Justin Steele will return to make a start tonight. Kyle Hendricks not-made-up-to-get-him-out-of-the-rotation back injury has miraculously healed and his return will happen soon, unless he decides to stay in the Southern League where he struck out seven in five innings last week and could probably make a run at the Southern League All-Star team.

With regards to their offense, the Cubs said that both Seiya Suzuki and Cody Bellinger might return this week. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but the idea that we were supposed to be so impressed that both might come in well under the initial timelines for their returns ignores the fact that those timelines were set by the Cubs. We’ve been around a while, we know they don’t know what they’re doing.

Here’s exclusive footage of how the Cubs determine the length of time any player will miss with an injury.

All of the returns are important, but they all come with roster decisions. Steele’s return is the easiest. They’ve been playing a starter short for a while. Ben Brown can work exclusively out of the bullpen, and lord knows they need any help they can get down there. When Hendricks returns, the Cubs can either sent Hayden Wesneski back to the Iowa to stay stretched out as a starter or send him to their bullpen. That decision should not be tough.

A couple of weeks ago, the Cubs DFA’d the great Garrett Cooper. Jed Hoyer is usually incredibly good at getting guys through waivers, but with a stud like Cooper it was impossible, Jed worked out a trade with his old buddy and new Red Sox GM Craig Breslow. Cooper for eight bucks and whatever was left on the Dunkin’ gift card that Breslow got when he moved to Boston. The best part of the deal was, according to a theory by the morons at Sunday Night Baseball, the Red Sox agreed not to activate Cooper until the Cubs left town that Sunday night. Yeah, how would the Cubs have possibly survived a “Garrett Cooper Revenge Game?”