The Cubs Convention is still a thing

Shota livened up day one and the Cubs botched the Utility Tunnel of Fame announcement again

The Cubs Convention is still a thing

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Every three or four years the lemming population in Norway dramatically increases and their migration patterns become so noticeable that for centuries a myth persisted that they would line up and walk off a cliff into the ocean, in effect, committing mass suicide. This isn’t true. They can swim.

However, similar behavior is more frequent and disturbing in a similar number of furry creatures. Every January the largest collection of sweatpants wearing white people descend on an overpriced hotel for Cubs Convention, where they don’t die in mass numbers, but only since they stopped putting on the Saturday night dance party.1

And, as for then jumping into Lake Michigan en masse? That’s too much like a bath for most of this group.

For the last couple years, the Cubs TV network has televised the bulk of the Convention activities, so now we can make fun of the whole thing from the comfort of our own homes.

This year, the Cubs held an introductory press conference for a free agent signing a few hours before the convention. While we might not have been all that excited about 30-year old Japanese lefty Shōta Imanaga, that all changed when he showed up and pandered directly to us.

Because he did it so well.

And, the presser got off to a great start when Cubs President of “Who Did We Sign Again?” Jed Hoyer got Shōta’s name wrong.

Seriously.

“Shingo Imanaga.”

Close enough.

What Shōta did next was legitimately incredible.

If all he had done was phonetically recite the third and fourth lines of “Go Cubs Go” in a language he doesn’t speak it would be amazing. But he kept going and did his entire introductory statement in English.

And he wasn’t done. He said that he chose the number 18 because he saw that it was the number that Ben Zobrist wore when he became the only World Series MVP in franchise history and Shōta wants to be the second.

This was orchestrated for one reason. To win us over.

And you know what? It worked! I love the guy. 24 hours ago I was indifferent to him and today, if you say something bad about Shōta, I will gut you like a fish.