Shōta made a strong (quick) first All-Star impression
A running diary of the 2024 All-Star Game


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Baseball All-Star Games aren’t often memorable, and they are often a little on the dull side, but they are always fun to make fun of. Last night’s was no exception.
Fox did a pre-game feature on 90-year-old national treasure Bob Uecker. Do you think that when they told Ueck that they were sending tragedy porn interviewer Tom Rinaldi to do the interview that Bob worried he might have already died?

A-Rod said that he only knew Uecker as an “entertainer” when he was growing up, because “we didn’t get Milwaukee games when I was a kid in Miami.” I guess Alex meant he didn’t see Bob do Brewers games on TV, but Bob’s always done radio, and if Alex meant he didn’t see Bob play, there’s good reason. Uecker’s last game was eight years before A-Rod was born.
In the on-field introductions, what was with the All-Star starters having to put hats on little girls and escort them to the front of the line? I’m glad Clark wasn’t there waving them into his windowless van.
And what was with all the cowboy hats, for everything, in general? I mean, we get it. Enough already.
The NL starting Paul Skenes was a rare instance of MLB understanding that you can do something really cool in this stupid game just for fun. Usually you’d get some stupid variation on, “blah blah blah pay your dues blah blah blah.”
Fox’s awful intro package featured All-Stars getting on and doing some very carefully edited “riding” on a mechanical bull. How great would it have been if Shohei had actually fallen off it and separated his shoulder and missed the rest of the season?
I wonder what odds Ippei could have gotten on that happening? Are we still doing Ippei gambling jokes? No? Fine.
Ken Rosenthal interviewed AL starting pitcher Corbin Burnes on the mound before the top of the first. I was really hoping he’d just stay there for the entire top of the inning.
“Hey Corbin, is that a fastball grip?”
”Ken. Why the fuck are you still here?”
”What’s that sticky stuff on your left wrist?”
”If you don’t shut up, I will throw you at Bryce Harper.”
The always overly excited Joe Davis read off the NL batting order and at the end he said, “Batting ninth, the long awaited superstardom is here for Jurickson Profar.”
Sure, Jurickson’s having a nice year, but is .305 with 14 homers in a first half when you’re 31 years old really the onset of superstardom? Joe would have been absolutely giddy about Bryan LaHair.
I get the idea that MLB ditched the classy look of players wearing their actual team uniforms for the All-Star Game to sell more jerseys, but who the fuck is actually buying these All-Star jerseys? They are always awful, and this year’s were no exception. The NL’s are bad, but the AL’s weird light brown uniforms are worse, they made the guys look like hipster park rangers.
I’m all for changing up all the rules in an All-Star Game. In the top of the first Shohei walked and I think he should have been able to decline it and keep batting. Who the fuck came to watch Shohei walk?
Skenes pitched a scoreless first with a two out walk of Juan Soto that tingled Davis’ loins as he was literally begging for a Skenes-Aaron Judge matchup. It lasted one pitch as Judge grounded out to third.
You know what would have been even better? Paul Skenes versus Miles Mastrobuoni. Miles may be batting .197 on the season, but he’s a career .500 hitter against Skenes. That’s .500 better than Judge.
In-game interviews are always dicey, but Fox tried something even more tricky, they mic’d up all three Phillies starting infielders (Bryce Harper, Trea Turner and Alec Bohm) at the same time. It was the first time the Phillies had three starting infielders in an All-Star Game since 1982, and you can guess which of their infielders on that team (Larry Bowa) didn’t start.1 Turner made a diving play to rob Vladimir Guerrero Jr. of a hit.
Is Trea Turner a better free agent signing than Dansby Swanson was? I mean, I guess we’ll need to give it time. But yes. Very much yes.
They both have made an All-Star team with their new club. Dansby made it last year, if you’ve forgotten, and honestly I think we all have. Trea is hitting .288/.340/.482 as a Phillie, and Dansby is hitting just a little bit less for the Cubs (.233/.312/.393).
Fans didn’t come to see Shohei walk like he did in the first inning, so he hit a three run tank in the third. I don’t think he’d decline that if given the chance.
Bob Nightengale with an incredible fact:

I mean, I’m stunned that no player had homered in an All-Star Game in 28 years. I guess pitching has really dominated. I’m flabbergasted.

Oh. Bob was only off by a few. Ohtani’s was the 65th All-Star Game homer since Piazza’s in 1996.
How many Cubs homered in between Dodger All-Star Game homers?
Three — Alfonso Soriano (2007), Kris Bryant (2016), Willson Contreras (2018).
Here’s the list of Cubs who have ever homered in an All-Star Game.
Augie Galan (1936), Hank Sauer (1952), Ernie Banks (1960), George Altman (1961), Billy Williams (1964), Andre Dawson (1991), Soriano, Bryant, Willson.
So that’s nine, ever, in 90 years of All-Star Games (there was no game played in 1945) and there were two All-Star Games from 1959 to 1961. Seems like a light list.
You know how many White Sox have ever homered in an All-Star Game, though?
Two.
Frank Thomas in 1995 and Magglio Ordonez in 2001. Just another reminder what a trash franchise the Sox really are. Somehow the Cubs got the lovable loser tag while the Sox have been mostly inept for staggering stretches of their existence.
The best player on the worst team they’ve ever had, Garrett Crochet pitches a scoreless fourth, so now they can trade him at the deadline and hopefully get somebody back who might someday be half as good.
Smoltz, who is never excited about anything, seems giddy at the idea that almost every team in the NL is within 3.5 games of a playoff spot (12 of the 15 teams). “I don’t think this has ever happened before.”
No shit. They’ve only had the third Wild Card for three years, you dolt.
Guess who is pitching the bottom of the fourth for the NL!
It’s our boy, Shōta!
Smoltz: “He’s been unbelievable and he’s single handedly keeping the Cubs afloat.” Credit where credit is due, Smoltz is exactly right.
I just hope Shōta has calmed down from the pre-game excitement of playing catch with Shohei, and more importantly, catching up with the Barves mascot.

Shōta gets Vlad Jr. to ground out to second and then after Christian Yelich dogged it and didn’t catch a foul fly ball to right, Shōta strikes out Adley Rutschman on a check swing. Another thing that should never happen in an All-Star Game, a base ump ringing up a player for a check swing. “Timmy, did you see Adley kind of swing at that ball? Wasn’t it exciting?!”
Profar makes a nice running catch on a Marcus Semien liner to left and Shōta’s night is over.

Just like my prom night, Shōta.
Shōta and Shohei were full of gems.

Here’s the whole thing.

Hunter Greene is in to pitch and Smoltz overstates just a little bit that, “Greene was going to be a two-way player before Shohei.” The Reds gave Hunter 30 at bats as a DH in the rookie Pioneer League in 2017 when he was 17 years old, Smoltzie. But yeah, he came oh, so close.
Jarren Duran goes Hungry Like the Wolf on a Green fastball and it’s 4-3 American League.
In the bottom of the seventh, Big Papi is handed a microphone and is wandering around the American League dugout grabbing players, calling them “my guy” and never using anybody’s name. It’s so bad I expect Marquee to have Taylor try this on Friday.
Torry Lovullo is burning through pitchers two per inning now trying to get everyone into the game.
When has this ever gone wrong?

The AL is up 5-3 going into the eighth, but the big news of the day isn’t this game, it’s Jed Hoyer wheeling and dealing to get the Cubs into the playoffs.
We know how much MLB hates it when teams overshadow the All-Star Game with trades, but no way Jed could wait on this.

Jesus Tinoco, 2024’s Jose Cuas!
Heliot Ramos of the Giants is an incredible story. He was, for quite a while, the Giants top prospect and he was the guy the Cubs really wanted in the Kris Bryant trade in 2021, but the Giants wouldn’t do it sent Alexander Canario instead so David Ross and now Craig Counsell could just not play him, ever.
But then Ramos struggled in short stints in the big leagues in 2022 (nine games) and 2023 (25 games) hitting .158/.220/.250 and they seemingly had no use for him. This spring he was one of the first players cut and sent to triple-A. But then Jung Hoo Lee ran into a wall and separated his shoulder and is out for the season. The Giants called Heliot up after Luis Matos started to struggle and Austin Slater and Mike Yasztrzemski both got hurt. They basically had to play Heliot, because they didn’t have anybody else.
If those guys hadn’t all gotten hurt, Ramos would just be raking at triple-A Sacramento and would likely have been traded at the deadline for a middle reliever or something. Instead, he’s hit .298/.365/.523 with 14 homers and 46 RBI in just 60 games and made the All-Star team.
Remember this spring when people were talking about how the Guardians should trade Emmanuel Clase to the Cubs because the Cubs needed a closer (still do) and the Guardians were going to be bad? Well, the Guardians have the second most wins in baseball and the Cubs are in last place. Fun.
Clase nearly pitched an immaculate inning in his 2022 All-Star debut, he got screwed on a pitch that should have been a strike while striking out the side on ten pitches. This time he needed a few more than ten, but the result was the same.
The AL won, he got the save and now it’s time for the second half of the season and more huge trades for the Cubs like…whoever the guy they got on Tuesday was.
The three who did were Pete Rose, Manny Trillo and Mike Schmidt. ↩