No need for the Cubs to pace themselves

Because we've endured so many TV games with the nonsensical backup announcer in recent weeks, I have spent more time with Pat Hughes and Ron Coomer than normal. As a consequence, I also end up spending a lot of fifth inning quality time with the opponents' radio announcers to avoid the inning where Pat goes and takes a dump and Zach Zaidman makes one on the microphone. (Over the weekend, there was no functional Cubs broadcast as Thumbo was on TV and Ron Coomer took the weekend off on radio so Zach was stepping all over Pat for all nine innings. I ended up listening to a lot of Jeff Brantley and his sidekick on Reds' radio, and when you prefer "The Cowboy" to whatever the Cubs are serving up, you know it's bad. And, it kind of makes you miss Franchester and tHom Brenneman. Well, not really.)

By the way, why was Ma Clavin in the booth for a while in Miami?

Listening to more Pat and Ron isn't a bad thing. Though, we could all do without the overlaughing (or any laughing, really) at Pat's lame jokes. During the Marlins series, Pat made one about Miami first baseman Eric Wagaman. It was something about dogs. It was awful. But, Pat gave his regular pause for Zach's cackling and none came. Just silence. There was a chill in the air you could feel on the radio. It had very, "I didn't get a harumph out of that guy" energy from Virgil Patrick Hughes.

I don't know if Zach had left the booth for something, or just wasn't paying attention, but he was in a doghouse for the rest of the night befitting of a missed Wagaman joke.

I do enjoy some of Pat's regular bits. In a big spot you'll hear him openly pine for a homer, and the way he does it is clearly set up so that if the Cubs player does hit one on the next pitch, the highlight will be easy to cut in a way that makes Pat seem like a sage.

"Cubs trail 3-0. You know Ron, even though Vidal Brujan hasn't hit a homer since he was playing little league in San Pedro de Macoris, this would be a great spot for one...here's the pitch. And Vidal swings, misses, strikes out and impales himself on the bat. Oh, well."

Now that the Cubs have played exactly a third of their games, it's time to lean on another of Pat's favorite old saws. Doing simple math to predict Cubs' end of season stats.

He did it yesterday, noting that with a win, the Cubs would have 33 at the one-third mark, and that would put them on pace for 99 wins, something that he and Ron agreed would be, "pretty good."

Never mind, the fact that it would also mean the Cardinals--who suck--would, by that same advanced formula end up with 90 wins, a number I don't think they could hit if the league expanded the schedule to 182 games.

What do some of the Cubs other numbers look like...scientifically?