A new year in free Cubs crap

The 2023 ballpark giveaways have been announced and they are really something

A new year in free Cubs crap

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One of my favorite days of the year is when the Cubs e-mail us the calendar of all the free crap they’re going to give away at games. Over the years there’s been some pretty famous stuff. I remember as a lad pining for a floppy hat for no good reason. One year we got a Kerry Wood bobblehead that was clearly designed for then Yankees pitcher AJ Burnett and just given a different paint job. Who will ever forget the neon hats they gave away at the workout day/Home Run Derby1 before the 1990 All-Star Game? Jim “Pink Hat Guy” Jim Anixter still wears his to games.

OK, that’s not completely true. He wore it for a long time, and then started getting his own made with “Pink Hat Guy” on them in 2004 or so.

A guy wearing a pink hat that says “Pink Hat Guy?” Anixter should have started ObviousHats.com. Maybe he is, the page says it’s coming soon.

Anyway, it became a tradition when I was at The Athletic to make fun of the giveaways the Monday after they came out. It’s dual purpose schtick. It’s fun to write, and the list comes out just before the Super Bowl so I can write this baby way in advance and then spend Sunday night swearing at football players who are not winning my stupid prop bets for me.

Sports books love to take our money during the Super Bowl
Apparently before the biggest football moment of the year, the Bears trading the first overall pick in the draft, the league is going to play one more game. The Super Bowl is this Sunday and I’m not sure if you are aware of this. Not only can you watch it, you can bet on it!

Although, I am particularly proud of winning the “octopus” and “doink” bets this year.

The Cubs have broken the giveaway list is awkwardly broken up into sections this year.

Basically they created four categories so that they could require you to buy your tickets through special event specific web pages if you want to get the free crap for two of the categories. Ballpark Celebrations and Special Ticket offers. So let’s look at the highlights of those to see what’s so great about them.